It was actually my close friend Katherine (Making a Mark) that came up with 'disorientated' to describe my feelings. I can best describe it as skipping from one thing to another until I get 'brain freeze' as my son would say.
Now that something I've wanted for a long time is in sight I suddenly have mixed feelings about it. Over the last month or two I've spent a lot of time looking back over the years I've spent at work, thinking about decisions I made, thinking about 'what if', wondering if I'm now making the right choice. Going from a fairly successful career with a monthly salary to staying at home and creating art is suddenly scary.
Deep down this is what I want and I know I'm moving on to a path long desired, but it's still not an easy transition.
So the point of telling you this is that my feelings have affected my artwork recently. Other than one or two small pieces I haven't been really happy with anything I've created over the last few weeks.
The latest casualty is the ginger cat I started in watercolour, when I had a good look at him he was far to orange so I started again, this time coloured pencil on drafting film. In the daylight he is a far better colour so for the moment I'm happy with him.
With several deadlines fast approaching I'd better get my act together and actually finish something.
Tomorrow as they say is another day, actually it's British Collie Club Championship Show and I'm showing my crazy puppy as well as Roxie, so that will be a totally different challenge. If I can coax Cody to keep all 4 feet on the ground for five minutes I will have had a successful day.